This morning I was reminded that God does not just “save” non-Christians. He saved ME when I was lost not so many years ago. The Prodigal Son in the Bible was still a son. He was simply seeking pleasure and purpose. He didn’t have evil intentions. He wanted fun, and he wanted to be independent. He was “finding himself.” He probably didn’t even realize he was lost until he was eating pig slops.
I can relate. God in his mercy gave me space to “find myself” for about the five years that it took me from around 2009-2013. The irony is that after those five years, when I’d finally “found myself,” it was only then that I realized what a complete hot mess I was! Finding myself meant seeing and admitting how utterly lost and hopeless I was internally. “Finding myself” meant admitting that I was lost.
That’s when I ran back home. Actually, I did not run. I bowed down and cried. God did the running. Just like the Father in the Prodigal Son Parable, Daddy God ran and met me on my road of repentance. The beauty was when I was at my lowest, God whispered to my soul that I was “His Best!” That’s the time in my life when I declared to God that He was my Everything!
I have been a Christian since I was around five years old. You can know God and still be lost. But ironically, many don’t realize they are lost until they hit the bottom. Satan is a deceiver and out to kill, steal, and destroy the beauty God has for His beloved. But that’s where God comes in and creates beauty out of our ashes. He does not give up on us. But sometimes he does respectfully give us our space.
My pastor said this truth this morning that stuck with me: “It’s not about, ‘how much do we love God’? It’s about, ‘how much do we allow God to love us?”
Being found is not about self-discovery. If each of us are honest with ourselves, we tend to be selfish egotistical creatures when left to our own devices. True self-discovery is when we realize who God says we are. Now that is where new life begins.