I wrote this back in 2012, less than two years before I had MY dreams come true.
Lately, I’ve been less creative than I’ve been in the past. I have heard that sometimes writers go through phases where they have less creativity than in the past. I think my sons take a lot of my energy and creativity! I hope to write more again…soon! But for now, I’ve been reading through old articles I’ve written and choosing some to share with you! As I read articles I wrote in my past, I’m able to relive God’s faithfulness in my life. It’s humbling and beautiful to be reminded where I came from. God has led me and has never let go. Let him do the same with you! God is worthy of our praise and trust!
The nerd in me can’t get enough of history lately, and I’m simply marveled by how archeology and science and modern technology can retrace and uproot and uncover so many long-forsaken past treasures of how the human race used to live. Besides the obvious: concluding how deep at our core, us humans really are all alike, despite our historical, geographical, and cultural differences, another thought just crossed my mind that unites homosapians through the millennia. We were made for more.
I was drawn by the passion and adventure and curiosity that undoubtedly had propelled a discoverer and his team to study the lost Inca civilization for the bulk of his career. And while I have not yet finished watching the documentary, I think it’s safe to assume that he uncovered what he’d been searching for: the hidden last place the Inca’s resided before their final defeat by Spanish conquistadors.
I love people more than anything outside of God. But not only do I love people in the relational sense; I love the study of people. I love pondering the why’s behind people’s choices and am fascinated by psychology, theology, philosophy, sociology, and psychiatry. I love learning these things and ‘eat it up.’
Well, one thought I just had was, “What happens when this explorer achieves his life-long dream?” The thrill will be there, undoubtedly, for a short while. And like others who achieve their goals, oftentimes a vast array of ramifications will transpire, whether it’s the accumulation of more money, fame, power, prestige, etc. But then I thought of myself and my more humble number one dreams: to be a wife and then a mother. What ramifications will transpire when my dreams come true? I assume I’ll have more relational intimacy, companionship, sexual fulfillment, and I’ll understand parenthood with all of its heartaches and joys.
But what was new will inevitably become old. What was sought after, once found, will cease to give us our sense of awe. So I’m left here thinking, “So what is our answer?” God knows I’d rather die than live without unquenchable passion and drive. The answer can’t be to stop dreaming! But what happens… God I hope mine will…when dreams DO come true?!
Think about all of the Disney stories or childhood fairytales you’ve ever heard. You know what they all lack? They lack a bigger perspective. They lack a new dream. The damsels in distress get whisked away by their prince and live… “happily ever after.” But then what?
Whatever it is we are striving for or praying about or working toward, it either will or will not happen. But either way, it will leave us empty and unsatisfied in the end. I truly think it’s because we were made to live a life FULL of adventure. We were made to live a life that’s only satisfied when it’s lived toward a bigger purpose—a bigger picture—a bigger dream than our own.
I cherish the idea of my dream coming true and becoming a Mrs. so-and-so someday more than anything else in the world. I have a nearly uncontainable desire to respect and love a man fully as we travel through life together, and to raise up precious biological and adopted children as their mother. Oh I can’t even place into words the sense of marvel the word, mother, has upon my soul. So I urge you, too, pursue and pray with all your might for your dreams to come into fruition!
But don’t stop there. You will be left disappointed. As hard as it is to fathom, I know that being a wife and a mother will get old. And I will be left passionless and adventure-less unless I’m living for a bigger dream and adventure than mine own.
If my life is a song, and being a wife and mother is its chorus, as grand as it may be, it will get old without a second verse. But no matter how many additional verses or chorus repetitions are sung, it’s simply going to bore me at some point. Even while dancing, the song will loose it’s thrill…
I was made for another world…. Only flying will do.