This is a poem I wrote back in my single years, when the struggle was real. I wanted so badly to be known intimately and to be cherished fully. At the time I wrote this, I was growing weary of waiting on God and God’s higher calling for those who follow His ways. I was tired of trusting and waiting. But I decided to persevere.
This poem is quit vulnerable to share, actually. But I thought it may help others out there who can identify with some of the feelings I was grappling over. I know that keeping things in the dark does not help. And God allowed me to suffer at times in order that I might be refined, and that I might be a blessing to others.
Be encouraged if you are waiting on God. I know it is so hard sometimes. But it is truly worth it. You are not forgotten. And you are far more valuable than society tells you. Your body and your heart and soul and mind are absolute priceless treasures that should be sought after… Save yourself heartache and listen to what God says about you!
Promise it’ll be awkward on my ‘end,’ I’m sure.
But promise it needn’t be dreaded on yours—
But after a couple days of reflection,
And some time in meditation,
I’ve concluded that my heart ’twill not be at rest—
Until you and I have spoken in more than just jest.
I have acted like most every other girl—
So it’s easy to justify my not behaving like a Pearl.
But the truth is that God has higher plans—
And he doesn’t intend on me enticing a man.
Sometimes I tire of seeking God’s heart.
But I’m not a half-asser, and can’t just give Him part.
Seeking purity comes with a cost I’d rather not pay.
It means I’ll sound like a prude some will say—
Which is so far from the truth that it’s crazy.
So in my fight, sometimes I get lazy—
Feeling prized only for my body, my heart grows hard.
At times I feel used and apathetic, and I let down my guard.
I said “yes” to God with ease years ago,
But waiting on him now…is much harder so.
He’s not just asked for my virginity.
He’s asked me to seek His heart of purity—
And to travel the oh-so-narrow road
That at times kills—But is the only true road
That will lead to peace for my soul.